Happiness, The Secret Nobody Ever Told You
Happiness? Is it something that you pursue and never fully grasp? Is it a fleeting moment of joy? Is it the product or result of living a fruitful life?
What does happiness mean to you? Just take a moment and ask yourself that question.
The man above is Thomas Jefferson, the 3rd president of the United States. Now you must be wondering where does Thomas Jefferson fit in our discussion of what happiness is? Well, he was the principal author of the Declaration of Independence, which was written to justify and clarify the actions of the American government at the time. Here is an extract from his Declaration of Independence.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ~ Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson mentions happiness a few times in his declaration, he saw it as an instrumental part of freedom and saw it fit to include happiness in the document. So what is this happiness he was talking about exactly?
The man above is Aristotle. He was a Greek philosopher and polymath, one of the most intellectually potent people ever to live. He even tutored Alexander the Great. What were his thoughts on happiness? Well, he thought happiness is not fleeting moments of bliss. The word he used in Greek is “eudaimonia” (you-die-monia). This translates to “success” rather than “happiness.” He thought happiness isn’t something you feel but rather a person’s overall achievement in life.
Steve Jobs, the man largely responsible for the creation of the modern age, the man who built Apple, the first company ever to surpass a net worth of $1 trillion! He said that your true happiness does not come from the material things of this world. He said that true happiness is when you have friends or someone to talk to.
I asked a bunch of people what they thought happiness was, and here are some answers I got:
It’s a feeling of contentment and it’s a choice, not a result
Happiness is shallow. It can be obtained from everyday things around you. Happiness although is a temporary feeling brought about by little things and sometimes big things. It is present when times are good.
Not just embracing but choosing to see the bright/positive side of every moment.
Loving yourself and being happy with your mental and emotional state. Also helping people, especially children and seeing a smile on their faces.
Happiness to me is when a person lives a perfect life. Your definition of perfection is your requirements for happiness. Most people think that they are happy but they are just content they have achieved an attribute of perfection.
Happiness is a feeling that you get when you feel satisfied in that moment, when nothing else matters, when there is nothing else on your mind, you’re fully present and satisfied.
So after reading all of this I was confused, to say the least. Who was right? Thomas Jefferson? Aristotle? Steve Jobs? One of the people I asked about happiness? Or even none of them? I was puzzled. The more answers I got the more confused I became. Literally everyone had a different answer on what they thought happiness was. How could I possibly come up with a generic answer that would sum up what happiness is, if no two people have the same answer? I thought at this point that it was thus impossible to give a general description of what happiness is. Then it hit me. A nugget of wisdom gently fell on my head and suddenly the answer came to me in the form of an analogy.
The analogy goes as follows. Imagine 3 kids are lying down one overcast day looking at a particular cloud. One of them says he sees a lion with its mouth open. The other says no, “I see a tap with water pouring out.” The other says that all he sees is a big lamp. So who is right and who is wrong? Well, I argue that all of them are correct. Each and every single one of them perceives the cloud differently. None of them are incorrect, it just means that every single one of the kids views the cloud from their own biased perspective. This creates the illusion of originality and they each believe strongly that what they are seeing is correct and what the other kids are seeing must therefore be incorrect, but they don’t realize that they see the cloud as a product of their own ‘manufactured reality.’ So simply said, all of them are correct.
Is it logic that two people can disagree and that both can be right? It’s not logical, it’s psychological.” ~ Stephen R.Covey
Let’s tie this back to happiness now. Everyone sees happiness from their own subjective perspective and therefore everyone is correct. When I asked various people what happiness is most of them began by saying things like: “So I think; for me personally; happiness to me means” and so on. This goes on to prove that they described what they thought happiness was from their own personal view.
So finally what is happiness?
Happiness is pursuing what you think happiness is. ~ Sipho Joja
Now back to the scenario of the cloud. Now let’s talk about the one kid who saw the cloud as a lion with its mouth open. Maybe the next day he might go back and look at the same cloud (the very same one that he saw the previous day). He then sees that same cloud now as a fish that is titled to the right. His perspective of what the cloud appeared to be, changed. Similarly, your perspective of happiness is also subject to change.
ie. Maybe when you’re younger, you’re definition of happiness is going out with friends and having a good time. Then as you get older, you now view happiness as getting to spend time with your children. Just like in the cloud analogy, the way you view happiness generally develops as you progress through life, it is not stagnant.
We might not be able to specify in detail what happiness is, because it is subjective to each person, but we are able to categorize the different types of happiness.
- Internally vs externally triggered.
Let’s analyze what some of the people had to say about happiness. They said:
You have to work for your happiness; it’s not just something that comes with birth
It’s a feeling of contentment and it’s a choice, not a result
This is an example of people who believe happiness is internally triggered because it is within your circle of influence. They believe that you have to proactively work for your happiness, that you produce it, from inside of you rather than it being something that happens to you. This narrative can be linked to you having control over your happiness because you produce it internally.
Seeing the sunset, your dog, a loved one, hearing a joke triggers happiness.
This is an example of someone who believes that happiness is externally triggered by things that happen to you. They believe that happiness is not something you can produce but rather something you can experience as the result of something external to yourself. This narrative can be linked to you having no control over your happiness because it is produced externally.
None of them are wrong, we are just classifying different views on happiness.
2. Short-Term/Temporary vs Long Term
Happiness is a feeling that you get when you feel satisfied in that moment, when nothing else matters
This person views happiness as a temporary experience that you feel in a specific moment. Satisfaction by nature is short-lived and doesn’t last long therefore we experience this type of happiness as a fleeting moment.
Happiness to me is when a person lives a perfect life. Your definition of perfection is your requirements for happiness.
This person views happiness as a long term phenomenon. Remember Aristotle from earlier on, he believed that true happiness was something that can only be experienced over the long-term. This take on happiness is based on it being a result of how a person’s lived rather than it being a moment you experience.
So in closing, only you know what happiness means to you and it is alright to be confused and even change your definition of happiness at times. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you are happy — in your own way.
